Monster!

Welcome back!
So. I said the other day I would post what other game I would be playing. And I didn’t follow through with the promise of doing it the next day. That’s because I got swept up in playing Guild Wars 2 and then later on hating the sylvari necromancer I made. So now I’m trying a human mesmer. And I don’t think that will be working out very well either. I’m so torn as to what I would like to do that it’s proving to be a huge problem in my advancement in the game. I’ll, at some point, settle on what I intend to do.
This all being said and what not, the current screen shot is of my entire desk top on a domestic night. Now mind you, there are a total of six people talking to me in one of those little windows you can barely see at the bottom, another one in the grey window - happens to be my boyfriend. And then in a Skype window, I have four people talking to me and a fifth typing. I do not play full screened for this reason. It’s a terrible thing to keep tabbing in and out. So I find it far easier to move around this way. A lot of people wonder how I can multitask the way I do, and it’s super simple - I play in a team. I rarely play in pick up groups when I know it’s going to be a hectic night. I trust my team to look out for me as I look out for them. I am the decided healer of the group, mostly because I’m so obsessive about their health points being at one-hundred at all times.
What is the game I’m featuring? It’s Tripwire’s game called Killing Floor. It’s a post-apocalyptic semi-zombie experimental first person shooter. Completely co-op as in you are put on a team to work together and complete leveled maps at different difficulties. You have six classes to choose from and a huge range of maps to play on. With five different difficulties to play on. You can level each class up to a sixth level at which you become more adept in your skills. Each class has it’s own advantages and disadvantages. A huge range of guns to pick from, but every group of guns is intended for each different class, so playing a certain class you would be best to use the assigned or recommended gun for that particular class.
I play on a team, or a Clan. Normally, I don’t adopt clans. I don’t like being limited to one single group. It makes me feel like an elitist, or someone that thinks their better then everyone else. But as I found myself playing with them more and more, it eventually became that I was going to end up sticking around with them. I’ve been invited and begged to join various other clans. Refused them simply because I didn’t like the rules, regulations, or restrictions. I’m incredibly picky of my friends, actually. It’s actually never believed that I am so selective. So I chose to stay with the current clan, Jagged Commandos, because they quickly became my friends!
Now. My boyfriend, on the other hand, he’s completely different. He either can’t or won’t play on a team. Which is perfectly fine, too. You don’t have to play Killing Floor on a team. You can very well kite the entire thing. Meaning you can run around maps solo and still survive - if you’re skilled enough. I am not one of these people, I’m too polite.
Also!! Speaking of my Bear! He’s on the company football team! Apparently he’s been for about a week now. I’m super excited for him. I imagine it to be incredibly fun and it’s awesome, to me, that he’s getting out and being around people. Because I can’t. So for him to, I’m happy for him. He’s really good at it, too. But I’ll always idolize him. I’m pathetically in love with him, I can only hope it’s likewise in turn.
He had a bad case of ants in the bathroom, which is epically hilarious to me because his methods of eliminating them were vacuuming them and dealing with them. So last night he tells me that he’s finally declared war and vacuumed them again, this time finding the food source at the bottom of the trash can to be some sticky stuff he got rid of. Let’s see how that all works out. But for some reason, the picture playing in my mind of a cartoonishly doodled Bear with a vacuum declaring war on the big bad little ants army around the base of a toilet is absolutely hilarious to me and tempting to draw at some point as a mini-comic spoof.
I should do this at some point. The adventures of T-Bear. That’s what it shall be called. And he will be an awesome bear. With his awesome adventures.
I should stop thinking of these things. So. Moving right along into…
In other news, I will be evaluated for Social Security disability supplement. In other words, the social security office will be calling me to ask me about my medical advancement if there was any and my ability to preform normal tasks in a work environment. If at all. Which, with all the medical problems constantly springing up on a whim, the doctor appointments, proceedures and such like - hasn’t been going very well. If I continue to qualify for the social security, which we’re all hoping, then I will be able to keep my medical insurance. So I won’t need to be so concerned with my medicines. They’re extremely expensive and I cannot be with out them. It’s crucial I have medical insurance of some kind to cover the expenses and the doctors I have to see. If I can keep at the very least that, then I intend to go back to school for a life long goal of becoming a licensed practical nurse. It’s a year long college course that I would need to hurry up and get finacial aid and possibly a pell grant for before November. I’ll be cutting it extremely close to sign up. And at best, if I can’t get into that course, I hope to start for some technical course or another in medicine. Irony at it’s finest, I think. For as much as I try to avoid the hospital, I intend to work in them.
I’ve also had to begin a supplement of zinc pills in addition to upping my intake of iron through salads. Zinc for the hair loss I’ve been experiencing more due to the synthroid, prograf, and prednisone I’m on. And iron, because I’m iron anemic and now beginning to notice this anemia in simple cuts taking decades to stop bleeding to random bruises along strange places like my ribs and lower back. I’m on potassium supplements at perscription strength because I apparently have a potassium deficiency, or I’m not absorbing nearly as much as I should be. Supposedly this is part of why I tremble. And then the twenty-sixth, I will be seeing a psychiatrist for the anxiety attacks, the seperation anxiety, and possible depression. Heavens knows what else they might diagnose me with when I go, though. So that will be even more medicines. I do need to get more pain medicine for the ever so lovely time of month that cripples me into being sick. As well as something stronger for the wonderous migraines I work up for no reason!

I’m falling apart, people. This is not unusual! Remember in the beginning, I said that most of my posts to Tumblr would be medicial? Well. This is that. For those that have any questions or are looking for advices in medicines, I’m definitely the person for it. I can easily tell you what medicines you can and cannot take as a transplant patient, to the medicines that will work and what combinations to take for whatever pain or ailment you might be having!

I think that’s about it for this tumbling post. Perhaps next one I’ll show off some pictures I had taken in Georgia when I had gone! That was the best trip of my life thus far.

Well. This will be a short update. But in the last few days, my Bear has been glued to this new game that came out. And already knowing about said game, had been reading into it before he had come home. Which he is home! I’m so happy for this. He came home Saturday afternoon, September Twenty-Sixth. I know, the littlest of things make me the happiest person on the planet. He had been playing Sleeping Dogs, probably on PS3. Which, from what I’ve been seeing of it, is something like GTA in China. The temptation to go out and grab that was short lived, however. I will likely wait longer for that one. But this is becoming a giant ramble.
Anyway. My darling Bear has been addicted to playing Guild Wars2 for a little over a week now. I’ve watched through other friends pick up and play this game for a length of time before. And while, like Diablo3, I waited for the trend to die down, this one seems to be sticking pretty good. It took me a while to weigh out my options. My budget. My ability to stick to something and the chances of this actually sticking out longer for me to finally cave in and vola… I spent the sixty bucks to do just what I had been trying not to do. Buy a huge massive game that will clog my computer for months before it’s trend is died down.
As you see in the screen shot, that is my screen by the way, it’s taking a year and a day to download. On labor day weekend no less. Tomorrow being labor day.
So why the hesitation?
Because in a past relationship, I was banned from playing games due to excelling in them beyond my partners ability. Followed by the ability to figure out the things he could not. I am naturally afraid to do either terribly in the game and humiliate myself and him. Or do better then someone and humiliate them that way and be disliked. I love video games, I love playing them for the fun of it. And I love even more, to be able to play with someone I love. But I’m afraid of that too!
So at the current moment, he is not aware I bought the game. I don’t intend to inform him just yet either, though I’m sure my Facebook profile will be a good give away that I’m up to something.
In other news.
I’ve been promoted to Jagged Commandos administration. Well. More like moderator then administration. I can’t reset or upload maps to the server. Though I’m sure if I requested the permissions, I would be permitted to.
So what is Jagged Commandos? Stay tuned for an update tomorrow!! Because that is a whole different game I will need to show off all in it’s own post!